Thanks Mojo and CN. Here's my fusionitis (word describing what we go through when we predict what the other spouse's reaction will be): W: Too hot (pushing hand away) H: I would really like to touch you somewhere. When you push my hand away, that is what I meant when I said I feel you pushing away. It's both physical and emotional for me. W: Sorry, it's just too hot. I don't want you touching me.
And how do you answer that? H: But I really WANT to touch you? No, she'd just say, too bad...it's too hot, and (the ol') until you are okay with me saying "no" then I won't feel like saying "yes."
If she does not feel like being touched -- for whatever reason -- why should I put my "wants" before hers? Do I just leave her with, "I just want you to know that I want to touch you; that when you push my hand away and I don't get to touch you for several days in a row, it leaves me feeling emotionally isolated from you"?
Maybe the answer is obvious, but right now it's not.
