I think you should have addressed the "hand push" right when it happened. If you want your sex life to improve, you have to make it your absolute top priority for a while. That might mean not worrying about getting a good night's sleep or cancelling social engagements etc. The last big crucible convo that my H and I had started right before we were due at my MIL's for lunch. My H called her and said "Mojo and I are having a big fight. I'm sorry but we are going to have to skip brunch.". We didn't even concern ourselves with the fact that it was obvious to our kids that we were "fighting". You really need to get to the point where it is clear to both of you just exactly what is at stake and how important it is to address it.
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
