Hairy, how about thinking now about what you need from her, how you will present it to her, and what the consequences will be for her if she opts out?
Cause Corri is right. She is going to turn this into a convo about emotional closeness and be insulted that you are bidding for sex when you "have so little time together" and THAT is the activity you want to do?!? I would make it crystal clear that this IS about sex. Since she brought it up, it should be a given that the goal of the conversation is to improve your sex lives. You don't want a girlfriend and you don't want celibacy. What other option does that leave? Yep, that's right. A sex life with your wife.
Once you have figured out how you will detail to her what you would like (sex twice per week, more affection and less criticism, say) then will be the time to HOY, as the sh!t will hit the fan, no doubt.
I would also encourage her to develop her own list of needs and how she would specifically like you to meet them.
How exciting to finally be getting somewhere after all this time of silent marital warfare!
