dude, I can so relate. Here is one word of caution from another door-mat type. I so rarely blow up that when it does happen, I tend to go overboard and say things that are hurtful - especially since I mean them. The blow up then becomes destructive, instead of cathartic. On the other hand, you don't want to be HOM the way that Castanza says "serenity now" - we all know how that ended.
My advice, FWIW, is to think about all that makes you angry, all that you resent, and use your anger as a motivational tool to actually go talk to your wife in firm, certain terms. As MM said, you need to put the screws to her and stick her right into her crucible.
JMO, YMMV, et caetera.
They don't call me <mad> frog for nuthin'
The differentiation song:
All I want to do
Is be more like me
And be less like you
Linkin Park
