Disclaimer: I obviously don't know sh*t or I wouldn't still be here; but.....
Hairdog, I think you are WAY overdue for a blow-up. And I think she has it coming and she knows it. If nothing else it should make you feel better and hopefully it'll get her attention. It might be the ONLY thing that gets her attention.
When you do it, make it a good one. A rip roaring, slobber slinging, make a sailor blush tantrum. One that peels the paint off the walls and leaves her standing in the corner wondering what the hell just happened. And when she walks away in the middle of it, just keep going and be right on her heels.
