Despite your goodbye, I know you're still reading Barn, so I will give you my opinion. Now keep in mind I am only 21 so what do I know?.....
I think you have boxed yourself and your wife into a corner. You will only accept a "certain" kind of behavior from her...well, she will likely need to build up to this behavior. It might not be something she can just start doing, you know?
And as for yourself, you are withholding from her the things that you should be freely giving as a good husband. You are a man of integrity and should be acting as such. Then whatever she does or doesn't do will be on HER shoulders but she will have no reason to blame you for her own shortcomings.
IOW, I think you can stay the same good husband, all the while implementing the PM strategies of "I love you, but if this doesn't change don't expect me to stick around forever.."
The vibe I got from your post (and it could have been pure frustration talking, I've been there myself and will be there again soon when I make it to my own thread this morning) was "I'm going to be an azzhole to her until she makes it up to me." In light of this dynamic going on, not only will she not make it up to you but then you are forced every day to be in a bad mood.
I think a better strategy would be to find something that makes you happy and DO IT. Let her see you moving on without her, instead of being captive and resentful, and see what she does. Right now, she holds all the cards.
I have read so many times on other areas of this board how the wives did not realize what their husbands were saying to them until they saw them moving on with their lives. That was a huge wake up call, for some reason. Now this baffles my mind, it really does, but there ya go.
