Quote: Choc.: Actually, the kids have all been doing extremely WELL in school, and this is the first discipline problem we've had. What are you referring to? Mrs. Choc.: Oh, never mind. You wouldn't understand. You never understand. Choc.: What is that supposed to mean? Mrs. Choc.: Nevermind. I guess I'm just tired, that's all.
It sounds like it's time for a 'big' convo. At least here, 'you wouldn't understand' seems to be shorthand for 'I really don't want to go into explaining what's wrong because it would mean that we have to face a lot of stuff that's going to be scary and hard, and I don't have the strength to do that'
Last time H used that (and I've been guilty of it too, trying to be better), I pushed him -
H 'You wouldn't understand'
M 'I might not, but I certainly can't if you don't tell me'
H 'You'll get upset if I tell you'
M 'I might, but I might be able to help if you explain things to me'
I took a while, but eventually, I did get H to open up a little, and it has led us to be able to hold civil convos on everyday subjects, and even be a little affectionate. I know we've got to do a lot more, but it was a start.
