Ciao, tutti! I'm going to start out by complimenting my H for doing a good job of making sure we have the conversations we normally put off. No, we actually didn't have a convo about him working. For some reason he's calmed down a little since then, though I still think we ought to revisit the issue. Nonetheless, there are many other things going on that are a bit more pressing. First is that my family has put a lot of pressure on us to agree to a New Year's eve birthday party for my stb 80-year old father that is going to be a financial hardship on us. I have been of the inclination to just suck it up and not make waves, which is my role in the family. Instead of giving in, H has grown increasingly vocal against the plan. Deposit day is approaching, so I've got to figure out how to handle the sitch. Not an easy one, but despite my cowardice in the face of my family, I think I'm going to have to take a stand with H on this one. I'm just trying to figure out how, and am hoping the plan derails on its own.
An even more imminent matter arose with the hurricane in the gulf coast states. H is, like most people, plugged into what is going on there. He called the Red Cross to volunteer. (Bless his thickheaded, machismo. He didn't even bother to talk to me about until afterwards.) Anyway, they put him on a waiting list to go. The day that happened, I had my head in the attic, when H yells from the living room (two rooms away) that he wants to know what I think about him going to help with hurricane relief. I yelled back that I would talk to him when I got out of the attic. He wanted to know why. I told him that I didn't think it was the kind of talk to have while yelling through the ceiling. When I came back down, H was back on topic. (Yeah, for H.) True to my word I sat down and told him what I think, which is that I will miss him, that I learned from our seperation that there are advantages to having my own space, and that I know he gets a lot out of helping other people so I believe he will be happier for having had the experience. He agreed. Hallelujah! I was half expecting him to try to derail his own plan with negative talk, but he didn't. I'll say it again, Hallelujah!
In the midst of all of this we've been talking about making a trip out to Kentucky to visit some new friends. We decided last night to buy the tickets, though I insisted that we buy a refundable ticket for H just in case he got deployed. This morning, the Red Cross announced they were needing more volunteers, so I think I'll be going to Kentucky on my own. H wondered if he should put off the Red Cross for the trip, but I think neiher of us believes that's the right thing to do. Personally, I think he'll find three weeks of helping people in primitive conditions to be much more rewarding than three days of horseback riding in the Cumberlands.
Also on the subject of helping people... H's "girlfriend", S, is coming back into town in a few weeks. I call her girlfriend, because it ticks off my H. She's too flakey (flakier than me) for H, but he's devoted to being her knight in shining armor. I decided a long time ago that even though I like her well enough, her dependence upon my H is really annoying. Sure it was funny the first time he went over to help her with a little computer problem and ended taking 13 hours, because it was a much bigger problem than she actually indicated.
So it goes when helping "S." He went to help her move two years ago. He planned on two days. It took six days, around the clock. He swore he'd never get roped into that again. So now she's coming back to get the rest of her stuff, and the plan has already changed from a one day to a three day move.
She's obviously better friends with H, though I've known her much longer. During my separation from H, she never called me once or returned an e-mail in two years, but she had plenty of time to talk to H about her love life and computer problems. I don't think there is anything emotional going on between the two of them other than her needing someone to help her with her computer and him getting a thrill out of being the one to save the day without actually being responsible for her. Whatever we are mutually relieved that I will be working when she gets into town, so he doesn't have to hear about it and I don't have to think about it.
