Gee, I dropped off the map. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to everyone who has stopped by. I've lurked, but never long enough to write anything.
Our Italian group has really ramped up, and I'm even running a beginner's study group once a week, in addition to my weekly class and near weekly conversation groups. Today, I have three meetings on various projects for the group.
I'm worried that H is feeling a little neglected, so I'm trying to be more attentive. It's hard, because we're both internet addicts so we spend too much time sitting back to back in the same room surfing in silence... like we are at this very minute.
I was very pleased yesterday when he burst into the bathroom as I was getting ready to take a shower because his back itched. When we first started hanging out again, I used to throw jealous fits every time he tried to use his back scratcher... now he comes to find me. How cute is that?!
He told me last night as we were going to sleep that he was concerned about how he spends so much time dwelling on all of the things that were screwed up or could go wrong. I tried to reassure him that some of that is normal feeling of being an adult. Then I asked him if I was one of those things, and he said "yes." I already knew that, so we chuckled about it for a moment, before he clarified that whenever he thinks about me that way, he realizes that I do more good than harm. I think that's a fairly normal way of looking at romantic relationships too, especially after the romance wears off and one is wondering if it's worth it. Apparently, I'm worth it.
Still can't seem to break the reluctance to have sex barrier. Can't get him to talk about it either. I tried last week and he got annoyed, evasive and argumentative.
For Christmas I got these neat little guns that shoot foam disks in quick succession at high velocity. They sting... Whenever H says something stupid, I grab my gun or tell him I'm going to grab my gun. We had a great shootout one night that ended in a stalemate and both of us cracking up.
On the whole I think things are going well. I probably need to refocus and assess where we are at sometime soon, so we don't slip into old habits. For now he loves me. I love him. That's what we've got to work with.
