Hi Missing! I wondered what had happened to you. It's good that you're taking a break. Best to let him figure it out for himself.
Hi, Dough Man. Interestingly, I am finding that I win more battles than I ever thought before. Poor H wasn't allowed to pick the place where I put the photo of his favorite dog, he did not get to cancel Thanksgiving and after five years of arguing with me he woke up one day thinking we needed a freezer. I don't know how I won that last argument, but I'm not pointing out that it was my idea.
Hello, also to Unsure. Would I rather be right or happy? Taking care of myself is actually a pivotal part of my sitch. H puts too much pressure on himself and starts forbidding me to do things when he's stressed out. I've spent the past two years defying my husband by insisting on being a helpmate. He always resents it beforehand and appreciates it later. I suppose if single people are on crutches they still have things to do. Don't worry, I have put my foot up a few times.
H is moved back in; and we survived our holiday party... just barely. I was very angry with H, because he practically repeated his performance from Thanksgiving. He said he could get the house in order between Thanksgiving and the party. Then he didn't. I spent the whole day of our party gritting my teeth while he griped and wasted time. Apparently, the problem is how I schedule our social engagements and not the fact that he prioritizes the wierdest things. For instance, he couldn't spend ten minutes putting a box in the attic on Friday evening to get it out of my way, but he had thirty minutes to price cameras on the internet. BTW, I never nag. I say it once; and it's up to him. As annoyed as I was, it was something of a relief to feel like I had something really specific to be angry with him about, though I could accept the procrastination more easily if it were not for his nasty attitude.
Other than that day I wanted to snap my fingers to make him disappear, things have been mostly peaceful between us. We're working and thinking more like a couple, which is good.
There's some family politics going on among my siblings; and I think H likes how I've been handling it. I set off an uproar when I told my siblings that I was spending Thanksgiving with my inlaws and some friends. (Frankly, I did it because they started making plans while acting as though they needn't bother consulting me.) In fact, I told everyone in the family that we were having my inlaws to dinner months in advance, but they still called me four days before Thanksgiving to tell me what to bring. Then they tried to marshal me in by inviting my inlaws, but we already had already included another couple, so we stuck to our original plan. You would think that they would learn that they need to include me when making plans, but I've heard through the grapevine that I am expected to be at my sister's house for Christmas. Too bad my inlaws already asked us over to their house.
My brother also dropped a very manipulative little bombshell on my H and I, so I'm wondering what is going on behind the scenes. My brother announced that the reason my in-laws were not invited to Thanksgiving until the last minute was because my sister (who was hosting Thanksgiving at her house) wouldn't invite them until my H moved home. If it's true, it's really petty of her. If it's not true, it's really petty of my brother to make it up and drop it on us at the top of his voice in the middle of our holiday party, where many people never knew we were seperated.
H's first reaction was to say, "See I told you so! They hate me." Then he thought about it a little longer and decided that maybe my brother was trying to coax some type of a reaction, which is probably true. I think my brother has a problem with my H, and doesn't want to spell it out. Oh well.
H is still involved in the Italian group with me. In fact last night he independently came up with a way that he could support one of our activities. My heart is soaring!
