Thanks Joey and Day. I am working on the contentment thing.
Everyone here is the BIG ANNOUNCEMENT: H MIGHT be moving home. The nut called me at five after five last night when I was at work. I was glad he called, because I wanted to tell him I was working late. I was standing there ankle deep (literally) in paper, and he said, "I just wanted to call because my lease is coming up to renew and I have to let these people know if I'm staying or not. I have to do it in writing by end of day today; and they'll only be there for another 20 minutes. So I just don't know if I should move home or not. Have we really solved anything?" I was stunned. When did he start thinking seriously about moving home? Why did I only get 20 minutes to convince him that our marriage could work? I was so incredulous I nearly laughed. He was going on about how angry I've been and how I don't feel like he's been doing anything for the marriage, etc. I couldn't believe he wanted to talk about this right that moment. We actually talked about it briefly, but there was no way to have a five minute "this marriage can be saved" discussion. Finally, I asked him if I could make a suggestion. I advised him to go ahead and give his landlords notice. Since nothing would happen over the weekend with regard to his apartment, he and I could have the chance to talk. He thought that was a good idea, so that's what he did. So we'll see.
Had a really down day today. H and I were supposed to go the Renaissance Festival, but we couldn't find the tickets. Of course, it was assumed that it was my fault. I didn't lose my temper, but I was pretty ticked. We have searched the house a dozen times and even drove to H's place to search there. To make matters worse we had other people's tickets so they're worth a lot of money. I've been obsessed with it all day, because it is likely that I did something with them and I hate being a flake. H finally told me to let it go... even conceded that although it is unlikely it is "possible" that it wasn't me who misplaced them.
There's been some R talk today. Most of it negative, none of it volatile. I'm doing well at keeping my cool even when he is horribly unfair, so I guess the Zoloft is working.
I'll keep you posted. Hope y'all have a good weekend. Take care. --z
