Tough luck for him. If he wants to have a happy wife, he is going to have to give up his comfortable self-image of himself as someone for whom sex is not important. If you are important to him then sex will have to be important to him. The question is how important is sex to you? Could you possibly be happy in your marriage if your sex life continues as is? Realize that you may have to choose between feeling like you are "in love" with a guy who doesn't want to have sex with you or actually having sex. You don't necessarily have to threaten to leave, but you have to make it absolutely clear to your H just how important sex is to your marriage. If you are honest and open and he comes to understand just how miserable the situation is making you, he will either make the effort to become more of a HD guy because he loves you and you are confident enough to express your needs. If he is unwilling to make the effort then you will have to take a good hard look at yourself and ask yourself why you are in love with a guy who won't budge from his comfort zone in order to meet your needs.
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
