Looking for advice. My H's 50th bday is coming up soon and I am planning a surprise birthday party for him. Although, I'm not 100% sure it's the thing to do at this point in our M/R. H still has contact with OW, but our R is getting stronger and he is slowly turning back to me.
One fear I have, but I keep pushing it back down saying it doesn't matter is that OW WILL find out about it and spoil the surprise and/or show at the party.
I'd like to get him an expensive gift, but think it will look like I'm competing with OW as this is what she thinks my H wants, expensive toys and gifts. I have two ideas for gifts and am really struggling with to give or not to give at this point.
Deep in my heart I think H would appreciate the birthday party, it would mean a lot to him and I REALLY want to do this for my H. However, pulling it off is going to be the tricky part.
I need to make a decision by the end of this week as I'd like to get invitations in the mail since it'll be about a month away at that point. I have pretty much till the day of the party to decide on which gift if any, also.
Isn't the saying "it's the thought that counts" could also apply, so thoughtful vs. flashy and look how wonderful I am or see I can give big gifts, too! Competing!!
