She filed for the divorce and 6 months later it was finalized. Seven months later, out of the blue, she sends me a card about a couple grabbing each other and writes in her own hand writing - maybe we should try this. This was near Valentines Day and completely took me by surprise. I thought and everyone we know thought it was over for ever. I know I was really never over her and it would have taken me many years to regroup. Up to that point, I had had enouph of her wanting to be a single parent and her job. I tryed to accept all of this, her job, her new apartment, her ER but could not. She was mad because she though she gave me an easy divorce and that I should accept this and do things with her and the kids even after we were divorced. She definitely wanted it both ways. She would say she never wanted the divorce but she was the one that did it. She says she wanted a seperation only and that I pushed her to complete the divorce. I admit I did push her because I felt there was no chance of a reconcilation, didn't like her new views on life, and she was real good about the kids and money. So after a 4-5 months into the divorce I started to treat the divorce like a real divorce. I told her she couldn't just show up when she wanted and that we were going to stick to the visitation schedule. All during this she always threatened me with a PA. I felt the ER had already turned but she always denied even after the divorce. As this went on I guess she starting becoming very unhappy with her life. She had it all, new apartment, good job,kids to enjoy, and a EA that would not leave her alone. Here is were a little luck helps. Her friend asked her if it was alright for a friend of hers to ask me out on a date. My wife (ex) says that it didn't matter but I think it did. I also think working out instead of drinking helped, keeping in touch with my MIl and her sister helped alot. The day we dicided to try I asked her if she had a PA and she said no way never happenned. When we got back she stopped seeing the ER, left her job and is happy we are together to this day. We did the retro deal a year ago. That helped alot. After that which was 6-7 months after we were back, she had to own up to admitting the EA turned to PA after we were divorced but before we got back together. I told her it was probably her best move because I do not think I would have taker her back had I know before. Still a big surprise to me but down deep we were divorced, I was kind of looking around myself, and she came back and chose me. The jerk had a real hard time with all of this because he thought he had his life planned with her. I tryed to answer all your questions the best I could. I hope it works out for all of you.
