Ahh, well because I'm the HDH, I carry the M in the hopes of having something to enjoy after the kids are less needy and/or out of the house. W carries the "mom thing" of taking care of the kids and caring for her parents' emotional needs (a sort of "rah rah coach" for her mom, who's depressed and sad these days because her relatives and friends are dying from old age, cancer, and such). I have the extra challenge of trying to attone for my EA+, which I'm pretty sure my W hasn't forgiven me for yet.
I am considering "one final talk" with my W before I sit back, decompress, and back off for a while with the R issues. I'll initiate LM when I want to (twice a week, most likely), but I'll "hope for" my W to step up and initiate the talks about M issues that are important to her. If she doesn't speak up for 3+ months, I'll re-evaluate and start speaking up again. Right now, I just feel drained and overwhelmed by trying to balance the rest of my life with the M issues.
