After I read Corri's post I began to think how I am also the "keeper" of the marriage, how H would just allow it to deteriorate, and I felt this wave of unappreciation come over me.
Why do we feel like the "keeper"? Because we have carved ourselves into that role in the marriage. The very fact that you are here and toiling over things tells me that you (and most of us) are taking such an active role, doing the thinking, analyzing, etc. that our spouses have no reason do anything. Our fear is that, if we were to drop a couple items on the trail, then our partner wouldn't pick them up and carry them. So we keep carrying the load and defining ourselves by doing so. Explain to your spouse your understanding of this and tell them that you need help carrying some of the load. This way, you aren't just dropping it on the trail and watching to see what they do with it.
You might be dealing with someone who is out of shape and can't carry much because they never had to. This is why the process takes a long time. Patience and communication are probably the keys to repair things. Ask them what they can carry. Maybe it's just a little bit of conversation each week but eventually it will start to balance out more.
Just my 2 cents.
Anywhere is walking distance if you have the time
-Steven Wright
