Olive- work on your R and you will have plenty of time to talk about the A. At some point you will need to address the reason the A happened so you can learn from it and make sure you both work on whatever those deficiencies in your marriage were. I know now that H was tired of my traveling for work and our S life was sorely lacking lots of things. He got friendly with woman at work who clearly paid a lot of attention to him and made him feel good. H and I just became too complacent in our M. My H at first when he came home and broke it off with OW didnt seem that remorseful. I now realize he was dealing with so many of his own emotions. Guilty about what he did to me, guilty of leading OW on , guilty about the kids and lots of other emotions. H now three months after coming home is much more remorseful. Although we dont talk about the A, H does send me emails when he sees I am down or deep in thought. His last email to me said something to the effect... I know your thoughts get the best of you and I dont tell you enough but I love you very much and need you. I dont want to lose you.... Emails like this really help. He also has said via emails several times, that he made a drastic mistake and wish he could turn back the clock but he cant. He also has thanked me for hanging in with him through this whole mess. So I need to keep remembering these emails especially when I think he may have spoken with OW. My H works in a small office with OW and somedays this gets to me. So I remember emails and I also keep reminding myself that he comes home to me everyday. So be patient. He will come around and he needs to get throughhis many conflicting feelings.
