Isn't it amazing, we all think our relationships are unique, and yet, I am reading your life and hearing my H talk to me in the same post. I am in love with OW, I still love you, I don't want a D, yet I can't stop talking w OW. Good grief. This friday he travels out of town on business to where OW is. I guess one consolation for me is that she lives 250 miles away and he only goes there once a month, but that once a month is a killer. They talk via his cell phone the rest of the time. He says he knows he needs to break it off, but can't. All I can say is that prayer has given me a lot of peaco of mind the last week. I have been very quiet, no R talks at all, trying to be pleasant. Not even trying, I just am. on sat. he wanted to ML. First time in a long time. I think we have a good chance of pulling this thing out, but I think we need to be smart, and stay attentive, but aloof to give them space. No tears, no outrage. I think you are on the right track to be able to listen, no matter how much it hurts, obout OW, and not get upset. Watch the ultimatums, I know my H feels extremely "backed into a corner" when there are deadlines. When that happens he comes out "swinging" verbally. Not a good thing. For me the A has been going on since Jan. and I found out in May. Still no conclusions, but he has not moved out, and wants to stay in our room. is this a MLC or what? I don't know how to reach him with S if he is not willing to work on us right now. That is a problem. Supposedly his decision to not have S with me OR OW, is to not get confused or to confuse me that things are beter than they seem, but I think that if intimacy is the root of the problem, whatever we can work out regarding S is helpful. Yes? No? What is working for you? Keep the faith, sounds like you are on track.
