KMFLA - Thanks for the advice. I read your whole story as well as some others and isn't it amazing how many similarities there are - both in words and actions?! I guess I find some comfort in that. We have our next counseling session next Wednesday. Sort of looking forward to it, sort of dreading it because it seems like H always drops some bomb while we're there! But, I keep telling him that I'm a big girl and can handle what he says so, JUST SAY IT!!!!
In fact, we had a long conversation last night after going to bed. I asked some questions about his R with OW and he told me a lot (not the sordid details!!) about what he was feeling. I just listened and asked questions - I want to know what it was that she brought to the R that I didn't. I'm not sure I really understand it all but they were DEFINATELY planning their "future life" together. That is, until, they both got a bit of a conscience. So, he is dealing with his "love" for her and feeling like he is not going to be able to "fulfill" these dreams. It's funny because he also told me all the things that concern him about a relationship with her. All I could think of (but didn't say it) is that if he has that many concerns after a 3-month affair, there should be NO QUESTION that the R is doomed long-term - they should still be in the honeymoon phase!!!!!!! So, I just tried to be a friend and at the end of the conversation H told me that I just showed him what a good friend I really was... I think that is DB'ing to the max, don't you?!!
So, I feel pretty ok today (well right now anyway!) and actually feel a bit hopeful that his pessimism about our R will eventually be healed since we seem to be moving a little bit in the right direction. We just need to start seeing some progress in our R and stop spinning our wheels. (not sure how to do that!)
I also told him he is to no longer talk to her about our relationship. That is between he and I and is what got him into trouble in the first place!!
Seems like nothing and yet a ton of stuff (good and bad) happens every day, doesn't it. In the meantime, I just keep praying and praying and praying. I believe some of them are being answered already.
