Ok.. so, I'm going to reply to myself since I don't know if/how you add another posting.
My situation has changed only slightly in that my H contact with the OW is in supposedly trying to break it off with her. Not sure if I believe that or not but it sounds as if she is pretty much making him mad and insulting him - obviously "hurt" that he is going to be with his wife by asking him "how does she know he wouldn't do this to her if they were together". The big emotional attachment is that she was "acting" as sort of a marriage counselor to him - so he thinks that she actually had his best interests at heart. YIKES! Talk about manipulation. Long story short is that he is still in contact with her but I set ground rules today of no phone conversation with her in the house. I'm tired of it being right under my nose and it's driving me INSANE!
He says he wants to work on our relationship in counseling but how can that be possible with a third person looming in the background. Of course, right now, he doesn't think that we can ever have all it takes to make him really happy. Is that just pessimism because of his feelings for OW? I just don't know what to think anymore but I told him I'm sick of lies so don't even do it any more. We actually had a good conversation tonight and oddly enough talking about her didn't hurt as bad as what one might think. In fact, I feel like it's the first time in a long time that we were honest with one another. Do you think we are moving in the right direction or am I just crazy?
One of his big issues is lack of intimacy - not just sex but intimate conversation. I'm not even sure I know what that means! I guess that's the problem, isn't it?! Has anyone else been accused of this?
mem - you asked about children - yes, we have a small child under one year of age. Hopefully, we can figure this out before she is corrupted by bad parents!
