Corri conditionally revealed to Mojo: Jesus, woman...I'm not Hank, but I'd marry you. ---------------------
How refreshing to see a W show confidence and logical clarity about sex! And it is doubly gratifying to see another W appreciate it!
barney - experienced partner to the "don't talk about it (it will work itself out), don't be mature about it (let's act like 13 year olds instead), don't act like it's really important (it's just SEX!)" attitude of marital relations
I was starting to feel much better yesterday from all you folks' lovely support... so I decided that if the opportunity presented itself, I'd have a talk with H.
It did. We were up in the bedroom, kids were downstairs, and H says to me, "do you think we are ever going to have sex again?" And I say to him, "do you think you'll ever tell me that you miss me and you need to be close to me?"
H: "I say that all the time with the way I look at you."
M: "Is that what that is? I thought you just had gas."
M: "Seriously, I need you to desire me emotionally as much as you need me to desire you physically (awesome, Honey, thank you)."
H: "The way I look at you should say it all."
M: "Is there not a huge difference between me just laying there and me being 'into' sex?
H: "Yes."
M: "From my standpoint, I could say you shouldn't be picky, you're getting laid, what more do you want... but there is a difference. I'm sorry if I seem obtuse, honey, but first of all, I'm not real sure which look you are talking about, nor am I clear what it is supposed to be telling me. I need to hear it out of your mouth... that's what's most meaningful to me.
This isn't a competition (thanks MPT)... I'm not asking YOU to give up anything so that I have something and you don't...
I think that was a great convo. Have you ever thought of saying something like this to your H.
"What if I told you that in order to be receptive to sex, I needed 5 minutes of breast stimulation. Would you feel like that was a valid request? I understand that you are capable of enjoying sex without a verbally expressed sign of emotional connection, but often I am not. I would hope that you would try to understand what I am telling you and I hope in the future you will make a real effort to satisfy me in this regard in the same way that I would hope that you would try to enjoy satisfying me in terms of breast stimulation rather than just giving me a cursory rub and tweak before getting down to what is the "real business" of sex in your opinion."
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
