Quote: I have to be pleasant all the time, I have to pick up all the extra slack around the house, I have to examine the past and present and make amends, I have to rub his back every time he asks...and all this for what? So I can get laid once a week?
WARNING! WARNING! I felt just like this until recently. I know your sich isn't just like mine but I think you should consider the following. If you really feel like you are doing more than your fair share in terms of emotional connection, division of labor and acts of service in order to get laid you will remain resentful. You won't be able to help it because you know that you could easily find a man who would be more than happy to provide you with sex gratis or better. Unless your H has a golden c*ck, this reality is undeniable.
If you deny this reality you are avoiding an aspect of self-confrontation. I know that you feel that you were too b*tchy before, but don't go overboard in the other direction like moi. I told my H that expecting me to "pay" for sex with various favors or acting like he was doing me a favor by having sex with me was absolutely unacceptable and ridiculous. Perhaps I'm wrong and you're a different type of HDW than me, but I knew that since I'm feeling confident about myself sexually, I was going to be facing constant temptation to leave my H for another man if he continued to withhold sex in any way. It's not that I was unwilling to compromise, it's just that I was incapable of pretending to be so mentally impaired that I was going to haggle over the price of peanuts with my H when we both knew that they were giving them away for free along with a complimentary bottle of cola at all the other peanut stands in town.
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
