Hey girl,
Yup...you need to take a break. Go do something you really enjoy. If it is with your H, great...if not, great. Just take a break. Then after that, you can see if my suggestion has any merit. But I think you need to be relaxed and as happy as possible to give it serious consideration. You definitely have to be relaxed and reasonably happy to implement it.

So here are my thoughts:

Your desire is simple. How your H can meet that desire is simple. It is perfectly reasonable and not really that hard, except for one thing. Right now, for him to give it to you means you win. I'm thinking you probably have a pretty good idea of how this little thing about losing/winning can be a HUGE obstacle to overcome .

Competition is the context in which you guys are operating when you're dealing with these issues. At least that's the way it seems to me when you report on your conversations with him. And it isn't just him behaving in a competitive fashion. Competition is frequently the context of situations where people have been arguing or struggling with each other for even a short while. This is a VERY common human problem. It shows up in all kinds of human interactions.

So what to do? Talk about the competition, talk about the whole win/lose thing in general. Talk about it in a friendly, non-competitive way. Use humor. Laugh at yourselves. Find a way to get past the competitiveness. It produces stubbornness.

Best wishes, MPT