Corri: I agree with the others. Take the focus off H and focus on you for a while. You can't change him or force him to step up to the plate by the sheer force of your will (and we all know how willful you are, lol) so why bother? You can state your needs and then hope that he is willing to start trying to meet them. I think that he might make more of an attempt if he had a game plan. Right now, I am imagining him so overwhelmed with what is being asked of him that he doesn't know where to start. It may all sound vague and bizarre to him.
Have you ever outlined it, for yourself, exactly what you are wanting from him? Do you know clearly what it is that would draw you to him?
I discovered with my H that making a list of what I wanted was very helpful to him but ONLY if that list started at a basic level, as Scott was so wisely saying. That is, he didn't want to know where I wanted him to end up--he wanted to know where to start. What was the MINIMUM I would be happy with. Anything else was too much.
This is not him holding out on me; it is human nature. When any of us are making huge changes in how we interact with someone as important to us as our mate, we tend to shut down if we feel we can't fully live up to their ideals. After all, this is the person with which we have the most to lose.
So how about it...what is your list of wants from your H, on the most basic level?
Are there things on the list that he is already accomplishing? That would help in boosting his confidence and make him feel that this is a do-able goal.
Gotta run; hope your day gets better. We've all been to that dark place and it aint no fun 'tall.
