Corri, My personal feeling is that you need a break from the "differentiating." You have done a tremendous amount of work and your strength and confidence comes through.
But it's time to take a rest.
Let go of the issues of the marriage for a bit. Take care of yourself, and see if you can get to a place where you can just relax in the company of your H. He is not a perfect person, but is not the enemy.
In my earlier post, I was trying to suggest that not every issue can be differentiated upon. This is just my opinion. I personally feel that loving verbal expression from men is particularly difficult. Again, this is just from my own experience. I want my H to say ILY while ML...he just can't do it. But he gives great cards on all the holidays, and I keep one in my bag that has a particularly nice sentiment.
I don't think I am being anti-PM when I say that we all have limits to our differentiation. The rest is made up of love and compassion, gifts that you should give to yourself today.
