I'm not brilliant in the relationship stuff like most everyone else here, so I'll jump in with something that NOP was hitting on.
I think I'm a bit like your H, at least in the emotional connection part. This is an area that completely befuddles me. I can explain to someone over the phone how their healthplan works and have them go from wanting to blow up our building to being happy, well almost, about the 10%+ rate increase that will hit them or walk them the process to set up COBRA for an employee. However I am still at the "pre-school" level when it comes to talking about emotions or talking to someone about them. Just this last month the W and I were the presenters for our monthly Encountering Couples meeting. I was so nervous about this that I was sweating a bit. Now I am a speech com major and do not freak at giving speeches, I also host a monthly Cable TV progam, so I am not at all bothered by speaking in front of people, but this time I was and it was the giving out my feelings and trying to make them understandable to others that freaked me out. It did go quite well and I got complements from the other group members. So what I am suggesting is finding a way to do "Emotions 101" with him. I got as part of the stuff we used at the marriage encounter and my counselor, basic emotion words and the feelings to connect them to. While I've moved from pre-school to kindergarten on this, things improved in the marriage in that, ok we're still not having sex at my level, but the emotional stress level is much better. I think the poor guy is probably just overwhelmed at trying to do a college level course on emotions with kindergarten level skills.
I hope this isn't too basic or completely out to lunch on what you need.
Scott -Taking a shot at helping and thrilled to be able to put the car in the garage for the upcoming winter as we found a place to store the camper.
"Satisfaction is not guaranteed." Rule #19 Ferengi "Rules of Acquistition"
