Everytime I come here, I feel like burying my face in my hands and crying. I think I might be depressed. I feel so utterly helpless and hopeless in regard to my H that I am truly disgusted with myself.
I don't want to try, yet again, as you suggested NOP, and place my ONE need in front of his face. I don't care if I have sex, and I don't care if I don't. I don't want to read another frickin' manual.
I want to curl up in a ball and cry, and then vomit, then start all over again.
My H curled up next to me in bed last night and whispered in my ear "are you awake?" I just layed there. No coherent thought came to my head. I wasn't pissed, I wasn't sad. I wasn't happy, I wasn't horny. I was numb.
I think I've collasped under the weight of carrying the backpack by myself, and that is as much my fault as it is his... probably more.
I'm just oozing self-pity today, aren't I? Darned if I can't seem to help myself. I just don't know what to do with myself, and I can't muster up enough sh!t to give it. This is quite disturbing, and I thought I'd better say something here in case this lasts beyond a few days...
