Next level?

[MJontheMend]

I said, "I would love it if you looked into my eyes and said to me, honey, I miss you and I'd like to be close to you. I want to ML to you."

I can relate to what your saying. I had the problem you're describing along with the LD problem with my H. In fact, I would say the two were related in that my H needed EC in order to have sex with me, but he was the one who was slacking on the EC too. I guess this is why I felt like it was necessary for him to openly declare his attachment to me before I could trust him to continue working on the sex.

I think you need to do what I did when I confronted my H about his inability to tell me that he was "in love" with me. Just treat this problem your H has about being LD in terms of expressing his love openly, the same way a sexually HD person would treat the sex problem. The only thing I would suggest is that maybe you shouldn't mix it up with the sex problem. Don't let your H's lame inability to express his emotions interfere with your progress in enjoying sex. Remember the Mojo motto and to put it very crudely- Don't punish your p*ssy for what he's doing to your heart/head. I believe that you are 100% capable of enjoying sex even with a man who is behaving like a total jerk.

You definitely should take a strong stand on getting what you want from your relationship in terms of expressions of love AND sex. The next time your H suggests that maybe there is only time for a BJ, why don't you say "Yeah. I'm sure that there is only time for one of us to have an orgasm, but I'm thinking it better be me.". The next time he expresses his difficulty at openly expressing his love, start imagining your alternate future in which you are having sex with a guy named Hank who can't stop mumuring over and over "You are so beautiful. I love you so much. I am filled with joy when I ML with you." or something less smhmaltzy but along those lines. You know what you need to be happy in your relationship and you know that you don't need infinite declarations of love anymore than I need infinite declarations of lust, but you know you have to take a tough stand in taking responsibility for your own happiness in this regard.