So this is piecing...

[trustinginHim]

My goodness!!! I had no idea my post would generate such a response!

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Ellie--(or should that be Dr. Ellie?) I cannot fathom what BMOW is thinking when she labels my forwarding of mail to the business in care of her as business manager, as harrassment!

I thought I was doing her a small favor forwarding the business mail to her (oh, ok, yes there was a second motive to my madness), but my question to BMOW is why is there ANY mail for the business coming to our HOME address ANYWAY??? Interestingly, that seems to have stopped now. Hmmmmmmm.

I wonder how BMOW would have responded to receiving the box of inventory packed in shreds of the cards and love notes she gave my H? (I ashamedly admit I entertained that thought for a period of time, but ended up throwing out the shredded cards.) Would that have been perceived as a threat of some sort to her instead of harrassment? Probably.
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Wonka--thank you for your support. I don't think BMOW actually felt "entitled" to my H, nor did she kidnap him. He went willingly to her when he felt that I was unable/unwilling to acknowledge the problems in our M. The WA spouses and the OP's experience reality differently than us LBS' and thus require an incredible amount of compassion and understanding, as hard and unfair as that may seem.

It actually was a bit difficult for me to forward the mail and inventory to BMOW, because I knew it would cause her pain and I was concerned that she might go ballistic when forced to face my reality, but I felt that it was time to *really* establish that boundary with her since I couldn't rely on my H to do so.

I know you are fairly new to all this, Wonka, and I have felt your pain. Still do some days. I will pray that you are in my position one day too!
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plk--brilliant as usual! Since reading your post, I have been toying with the idea of simply collecting any business mail or other inventory in a box for a period of time and then just taking it myself directly to the BP that has the most contact with BMOW, thus leaving H out of that loop.

I wonder though if doing it that way might negatively affect my H regarding our trust issues. Shouldn't I be working on trusting H to take the items to the BP? If I circumvent H, how will that cause him to feel, especially since he has now expressly asked me to give him any business items and he will take them to the BP to take to BMOW.

Your wise input (or anyone else's) on this would be appreciated.

I did laugh outloud at your springing snakes scenario! No, I didn't pack any surprises like that for her to discover, but I am sure seeing this stuff arrive and addressed in my handwriting caused her to feel the same sick feeling as a surprise snake popping out of a can would!!
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SC--I wondered who might post something about the "placebo effect" and the ADs! You win the prize! I'll find something for you.

In my case, when I take the drug Zoloft, upon starting it, I can feel it's effects within 24 hours or less. It is incredible. My response to this AD really intrigues my doctor. It is the only one that I respond to in this fashion. I have tried Effexor and Welbutrin and neither had the same effect on me. Thus Zoloft is my AD of choice. The only thing I don't care for about it is it plays real havoc with me achieving a climax during .

And, Ellie, in case you were going to weigh in on that, I am already on the lowest dose. I have also taken Welbutrin in combination with the Zoloft, which helped tremendously in the department, but the two drugs together exacerbated the sleeplessness side effect. Right now, ML is a moot point with H, so I am happy with just the Zoloft.

My H, on the other hand, has tried Levapro, Effexor and Welbutrin. He has the least side effects on the lowest dose of Welbutrin, so that is what he is taking right now. And "placebo effect" or not, H feels better than I have seen him feeling in a long time and he is also aware of it. THAT is what is important!!
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Thanks to all who posted! I had a nice giggle.

Blessings,
LG