Isn't depression a kicker? I am sorry to hear about your grandfather. I have been battling depression on and off since I was a kid--been suicidal at least three times in my life and actually planned my suicide one of those times, but didn't have the courage to carry it out, thank the Lord. I don't know if depression "runs" in my family, but having a mentally ill mother with a personality disorder and an abusive, alcoholic father most certainly contributed to my own depression.
I am still trying to figure out what has contributed to my H's depression. He had a normal childhood, very stable immediate and extended family relationships and was raised with strong Christian beliefs and morals. After an ugly incident in his church, he turned from a Christian life in his teens and became the black sheep of his family--sex, drugs, porn, and numerous women became what he lived for--his methods of self-medication for over 35 years. I suspect his leaving the church was the beginning of his struggles with depression, but then again, depression could have played a role in his leaving the church. I just had no idea that my H was suffering from depression until we went through all we have gone through in the past year. He hid it so well that even he didn't know he was depressed all these years. Depression is an insidious disease.
Yes, it is nice to see glimpses again of the person that I know my H is capable of being. I have hope that our marriage can continue to improve, instead of just remaining tolerable, as it has been for the past few months. Thanks for your post.
LG--relishing her H
A blessed and happy marriage is a union of two forgivers and Him, because...a cord of three strands is not quickly broken. Ecclesiastes 4:12.
