So this is piecing...

[trustinginHim]

And so the waffling by my H continues.

Later Friday night before bed, he told me to cancel his doctor's appointment on Saturday because he had decided not to go. He stated he just wasn't going to spend the amount of money it would require for the office visit and treatment of his suspected problem. Spending the money and getting it taken care of just was not a good thing for him to do right now.



I was so taken by surprise that I was unable to really respond to him with something other than a trite attempt at validation, "I see you feel very strongly about handling it this way." I then left the room to gather my wits. After pondering his line of thinking about it, I came to the conclusion that he is probably using whatever is physically wrong with him as an excuse to keep from having sex with me, and, if taken to it's logical conclusion, with anyone else for that matter, which may all tie into the breaking of his sexual addiction habit, as plk mentioned. If the problem were healed up, he would actually have to come up with a different reason to say no. I am going to assume that the few times we have ML since our reconciliation, he was not having an active outbreak of whatever it is afflicting him. I don't seem to show any symptoms at this point if he HAS been able to transmit whatever it is to me, because if I did, I would be at the doctor getting it diagnosed and treated!!

I spent yesterday getting my H ready for a business trip that he left on today. He is off to a national meeting where he will get to see and spend time with his XW. It was during this same trip last year that I moved out while he was gone. It was also during this trip last year that he was propositioned by his XW and he realized that he still had feelings for her. He claims that he turned her proposition down because in his own words, "It was just wrong." I don't even know what to really think about that whole trip last year. I believe that when he told me he felt it would be wrong to have sex with his XW it was because he felt he would be cheating on BMOW, or whoever his girlfriend was at the time. I think I was long out of that equation already!

Anyway, his XW fully intends to spend time with him this trip too--she has sent him emails to that effect, asking him when he was arriving and what specific meetings he would be attending during the conference, etc. I don't know if he ever answered them. He didn't from the account I have access to anyway. Perhaps this is why he didn't want to get his problem treated, so he has that additional excuse to turn her down with! I am just thankful that I am so detached at this point that I can look at all this craziness and not really be affected by it.

Things are very quiet on the BMOW front--so no demands for money yet, and I like that. The less my H hears from her, my thinking about her becomes limited to when I pray for her. Perhaps she is all wrapped up in the upcoming holidays and we won't hear from her until next year--when she wants out of the business! Just wishful thinking on my part. I am also sensing that things are not going so well for her in the fiance arena. Don't know yet if that is good or bad news for me and my H. All the things the fiance was doing for the business as the new Sales and Marketing person, or whatever his role was, have abruptly ceased. Hmmmm.

Well, the weather here is cold and rainy, and I have the house ALL to myself until late Wednesday night. I am thinking I may get me a fire roaring in the fireplace this afternoon and knit for awhile on an afghan I am making. I think a nap will follow in short order. Now that sounds like a plan!

LG--enjoying her time apart from all the drama involving her H