So this is piecing...

[trustinginHim]

The epiphany has come for me--I have finally been able to put two and two together and realized that my H met BMOW on that sex and swingers website!!!!

I'm slow, but I get there eventually.

According to my H's cc statements from the time period that I destroyed recently, my H started joining these types of websites in January of 2003. BMOW appeared in his life sometime between January and May 2003. She was introduced to me in May of 2003. He was always and still is extremely evasive about how they met. When I was finally introduced to her, my H had already been spending a lot of secret time with her away from home in her town (unbeknownst to me of course), purportedly on the "business". I didn't even know BMOW or any business existed until May-June of 2003.

So, my guess is that he went to this sex website to meet sexy, swinging chicks, he met BMOW there, they conversed on-line, they met in person, they started their affair, they devised a plan to spend tons of time together, they brought me and her H into the whole mess to legitimize the time they were spending together in the name of a "business" and the rest is history.

Now, you may be asking, how did I arrive at all this? Well, after my H broke up with BMOW, she continued to send him emails that I read. I remembered one that she sent last April. BMOW wrote to kind of update my H on how she was doing after they broke up. In that email, she mentioned a particular website, the AFF website. I had no idea at the time what AFF stood for and didn't really care. I think I may have made a mental note to ask my H, but forgot to do it. I posted this email in it's entirety from BMOW on one of my old threads in the MLC forum.

Here is the section in the email where she mentions this website:

...I still hope that someday soon you'll be able to talk to me again (at least electronically). I really would never think to be anything other than a friend at this point to anyone. One of our mutual friends mentioned to me that you were concerned that I would return to AFF . Don't worry about that at all, I've physically deleted all of my accounts, associated email and chat accounts. They are the farthest thing from my mind right now and the last thing that I need to turn to.

So now I know that AFF stands for the name of this sex and swingers hook up website.

For a period of time during their A, my H allowed BMOW access to all his credit cards and bank accounts. She took over paying his bills for him and the cc's that she paid all had monthly charges from these websites. I had always figured that she might be a bit annoyed that he participated at these sites, but I guess not now, she participated too!!! (The thought crosses my mind that this is where she also met her current fiance, if he really exists.)

Well, darn, I used to get some satisfaction thinking that his relationship with her wasn't exclusive and believing that she didn't know that. But now it seems that it is possible that she knew he was seeing others and it didn't matter to either of them. Perhaps they even participated in group sex get-togethers. I have no idea now what to believe or think really. If I actually learned the full ugly truth about my H and the extent of his sexually deviated ways, I have no idea how I would feel. And of course since I am a Christian now, everything is just compounded. I'm sure all this has tons to do with his lack of desire for intimacy with me. I mean, I'm just plain vanilla compared to what is offered on this and other sicko websites.

Sigh. I also know that I wouldn't have participated in stuff like that prior to being a Christian. It is just sad and WRONG.

And so the weirdness continues. Well, at least I now know what AFF stands for and another piece of the puzzle falls into place and is confirmed.

LG--a bit numb from all this revelation today.