So this is piecing...

[trustinginHim]

I decided to skip the overnight trip as scheduled for today and tomorrow and my H decided he would just come back late today anyway. I liked that.

I want to make note that I am doing much, much better. I am calm and at peace again. I am really working on patience and self-control. Sometimes I have them and sometimes I don't.

For instance, BMOW sent my H more emails to his work address last week. I managed the self-control to not read them until he had marked them as read again by him, which actually was two days after they were sent! When I find and read them first, we have agreed that I am to tell him that I have done that, and I do. He says that he only looks for emails that are unread, and I am unable to mark them as unread once I do read them as I access his email remotely and do not have all the functions available to me.

I am glad that I waited to read the one below that she sent last week as it was a personal one and I would have been upset that much sooner:

I hope all is well on your end of things, visited with one of the business partners for a while the day before he left he briefly mentioned that you were struggling with your diabetes again, I'm sorry to hear that... How is your mother after her fall? She has been on my mind since you told me that news. I sincerely hope that she's healing well and quickly.

Things are hectic on this end of things as always, my older daughter is in soccer this fall and my younger daughter is definately into the terible twos... I'm working thru an agency trying to find something permanent, the job market just still sucks.

Anyway, don't want to take up too much of your time, just wanted to let you know that I still consider you a friend even if at a distance and i do think about you and worry still.. Just part of my nature. Hope this note finds you doing well..
BMOW

Yes, as I said it upset me (for just a brief few minutes though) and reinforced my belief in the need for NO PERSONAL COMMUNICATION between the two of them, but I did not say one word to my H about it until he brought it up this morning. When he did I asked if he could understand why it upset me when she sent him inocuous personal email forwards. They seem to lead to emails of the above nature.

My H's response? He said, "Perhaps, but doesn't the content prove to you that I have not been in secret contact with her?"

Sigh.

It is personal contact none-the-less, and this is what I think he prefers to be able to know what is going on in her life for whatever reason it is important to him to know still. I can assure you that the next time he writes a business email to her, he will address what she has said in this email, probably something along the lines regarding his mother or her daughters, making polite chit-chat that is completely unnecessary scattered among the business part of the email. And this is how he maintains his communication to her with my knowledge.

Anyway, I guess my point in all this is that I still feel justified in thinking that her personal email addresses should be blocked from my H's accounts.

In other news, H did his invited talk in BMOW's town on Tuesday night and as far as I could tell, there was no sign of BMOW in the audience. Before my H gave his talk, the audience was asked by the head of the group that invited my H to speak for a show of hands of audience members who were there simply because of the newspaper coverage of the event. So I feel that BMOW knew, but stayed away. She could have sent a friend in her place to report back to her, I suppose. If so, the friend will be reporting that my H attended with his lovely wife!!

Nothing to report in the intimacy department yet. H is still making overtures and hinting that he would like to, but doesn't follow through. He told me yesterday that we are going on a week's vacation in October! He has the itinerary planned out already and everything.

Sometimes I just don't know what to make of this man.

Oh well, one day at a time...

Blessings,
LG