My day trip with H on Monday was pleasant. I guess it could be described as the kind of good time that two platonic friends can have.
I apologize if I sound bitter. I am really trying to put it behind me. This is one of few places that I can vent so that my H or R doesn't receive it. I am in the process of detaching again to lessen my continued hurt and am back to acting as if everything is ok and focusing on myself again and not on our platonic R. I started re-reading the DB book and DR is next, followed by a long line of others.
One thing that I have mentioned that has also gotten me down is the gap in H's and my spirituality. On a positive note, my H is actually looking forward to part one of a program that airs tonight for two hours on PBS that addresses the existence of God. It has received very good reviews. One of the comments in the critique of the program was, "It might even restore (or enhance) your faith." My H was very intrigued by that statement! So I am rushing home from church tonight to watch it with him. I am going to try to get him to tape it for future reference. I pray that we are progressing to him wanting to see The Passion of the Christ at a point in the future.
So, I believe I am at a point that I can state a goal:
Redirect my focus to H's salvation and remove my focus from his lack of desire for me
I tend to think that God's will would require this of me and that He will solve my H's desire issue for me in His time according to His will. I just need to continue to be patient and work on bearing that fruit in my life.
Well, I need to work on a shopping list and then go implement it. Have a good Wednesday everyone.
God Bless, LG
A blessed and happy marriage is a union of two forgivers and Him, because...a cord of three strands is not quickly broken. Ecclesiastes 4:12.
