I totally understand what you're going through, and I know first hand how much it SUCKS. However, I do think that you are going to drive yourself crazy if you keep doing what you're doing.
Quote: lost_girl: yes, and to you. I am sorry that she still has a hold on you like this.
h: knock it off - she has no hold on me, only on you and you let her do it to you. Just forget about it and dont let your emotions ruin the start to our weekend.
lost_girl: I am really sorry that my feelings about this are so trivial to you.
I really didn't understand where you got that he was trivializing your feelings. Looking at it from your H's perspective- he gave you full access to his e-mail and he's not trying to hide anything. Yet it still doesn't seem to be enough for you. It is as if he is being punished again and again for the same thing, and I'm sure that is taxing to him. I fully understand that what he did was wrong. BUT, I am willing to bet he knows that as well as the rest of us do, and he just wants to put it all behind him.
I have been through my H having a workplace romance. MY GOSH I would be THRILLED if I had access to all his personal stuff. But, no, his PDA and his computer both have passwords on them that I am not privy to. Despite the fact that I hate snooping, I would still love to know that his life was that open to me. I doubt that I would ever even check on him. But him thinking I could at any time would certainly go a long way with me!
To me, it sounds as if your H is trying to move on, and in a way you're not letting him. I know this is hard, but you're going to have to find a way.
I am wracking my brain trying to think of the book in which I read a scenario like yours. The wife was constantly bringing up the H's affair over and over, and the H was to the point that he just couldn't take it any more. I want to say that the book is "Love Busters," but I'll have to check on that. (watch it be one of the DB books...boy won't I look like a dolt! )
Again, I know what you are going through, and I know how hard it is to let go of it. I'm sure you're going to have to talk it through many times before you can put it behind you (if ever). I just wanted to say that from this side, you do have an H that sounds as though he does care about you and your feelings, and one that is trying to build trust again.
)
