Whoever said reconciliation was going to be easy??? My week has been good - great signs from H. He stopped 2 nights this week. On Wed he told me he was going to stay back at his mums that night. He asked me if I was ok with that, and I said no probs. He then said that he had really enjoyed stopping, but he did not think it was right to move back in completely just like that. I told him I understood and that if we had come this far there was no point rushing things. He agreed and said its better to take it slowly. He has also agreed to come out to dinner with my mum and dad for my birthday in a few weeks. So all positive things !!!! So why do I feel so crap? I should be happy and elated this week from my H's actions, but yet I feel even more frustrated and irritable than before. I asked him ifwe stopping last night and he said no, he would go back to his mums. I did not but I really felt like saying to him why?? If he has altready stopped 2 nights this week why does he not stop for another. I know the problem is that when he gives me some postitve signs it is great, but then I always want more. I cannot seem to be happy with what he is giving me, I feel like my patience is running out. He still has his wierd phases as well. Last night he told me he is going out Sat night. I said no probs, I was going out Sunday night. So I then casually said to him that if neither of us was doing anything Friday night shall we get a takeaway? He seemed to change at this small request, and said ' dont start planning for me, I do not know what I am doing yet? ( even though he had just said he was not going out Friday) ????? I cannot understand why he reacts like this sometimes over the smallest things. It seems like we have massive steps forward and then take a step back as if he suddenly starts panicing!!
This has got to be the most hardest and painstaking thing I have ever had to endure. Even now, when things look really positive for me and my H It is still really difficult.
