HUGS to you (((((((((((((((((NIK)))))))))))))))...
I think Betsey made some great points. It's hard not to feel rejected....that sears right into our gut when that emotion takes over. But she is right....
It IS all about HIM and maybe has been the whole entire 2 yrs. He is struggling....it is HIS issue to resolve and you are just the natural target.
Now is a great time to detach.....go grey....whatever. Continuing to be polite....but moving on with your own life. Make your own plans...don't give him many, if any, details of your personal plans. Have him take responsibility of the kids on a regular basis....and do what you want to do. Let him feel he is possibly LOSING you....that he is taking a huge risk.
My H still doesn't talk a lot about the last yr, but he has said on a few occaisions, that the sep is what he thinks actually saved our M. He said to our S that while we were sep, we communicated regularily, were positive and respectful with each other....and "we" realized that we had so much rich history together, so compatable, that we took our time to realize what it takes to really nuture our R...and slowly are putting the peices back together.
Those are my words, but the jist of how he expresses the sitch from his point of view. In other words....HE was stuck, IMHO....he saw me as the problem....then in time...realizing maybe it was HIM. He was darn lucky that I was still around to let him pursue. There were times when another man was looking pretty good to me.....I realized that there was more out there....I just knew that I wasn't quite ready to go there.
Didn't mean to hijack this post...just want you to continue to take good care of NIk....she is strong, loving, generous, faithful....lean toward the DBing advice....others really don't get it and are just telling you to let go and kick him out of yourlife, cuz they want your immediate pain to soften. Remember...as Michele states, they don't have to live with the results of a D the rest of their lives.
Just want you to do little things each day that make your smile, laugh or just give you moments of peace. Get quiet with your thoughts some each day too....God will guide you, perhaps through others, your children, words in a book, your own journaling, prayer....pay attention. It's hard work to stay connected to God....but well worth it.
