Hello Nik.... so sorry for your sit to be here. Things seemed to be turning around there for a bit. I'd have to say that totite is probably right (not that i would know firsthand) but my STBXH told me from the start that he wanted to keep it as quiet as possible. When I asked why I don't think I ever really got an "answer" more of an excuse - "because it's none of their business". I think it had to do w/the fact that if he came back he would be less humiliated and embarassed. Whatever they need to make them feel better.......

Anyway, my 2 cents would be to stop talking about it for now unless you want out.???? I guess I say this coz my WAH has been putting things off for the past yr since we started talking about D and every once in a while I bring things up for us to "stir the pot again". It's like they want it but they don't.......who knows.

Unfortunately, you've been doing this off and on for a while and I'm sure it doesn't get easier each time...so what path are you willing to take? Do you still want to save your M? If so, have you tried any of Michelle's other resources like the videos or tapes? Maybe something to try and share w/H and see where that goes? He seems so uncertain that if taken in the right direction, he could come back for good once he got over the "hump". But it's getting him to that point that takes it out of him it appears......... Well, I thought the video and tapes were just as good as the book and the videos show both sides of the story. Just a thought.........

Take care roomie...LOL...hope things brighten up for you soon... if not, I might have to send Eddy over to do a VB-BS... Tootles.................

Karen