Quote: LL - please don't take our probing as hostile or uncaring - just the opposite.
Ellie, I don't take it as any of those things..I know where you are all coming from. My comments were more in response to the fact that people often missinterperet my posts as being those things when they aren't.
It's just that I've read your threads here now for ages, and you really seem to be stuck. We're trying to help you find a new way of seeing things, a new approach, something that takes you out of the bitterness and into a new, better happier you. and I greatly appreciate it.
Some thoughts: - if your H falls asleep on you every night, either he works too much, I would think this to be the case except he still seems to fall asleep during his "off season" has a medical condition he could very well have a medical condition but becuase it is not something that bothers him and is also "excepted" way in his family...he doesn't look into it. (for me, it was my thyroid - 9:00 came and I was hit by a truck every night. Poor H couldn't BEGIn to get a rise out of me after 9!) - or he has clinical depression (why should he be any different than 90% of the WASs?). because frankly he thinks he's better than everyone. I don't see him as being depressed but what do I know..again nothing he'd look into even with promting unless of course I send him underwear shopping with his mother Maybe he needs some help with this.
As for you - I keep hearing how you feel trapped, how he's making you so unhappy - but I'm not hearing much about what you're doing to make yourself happy, to make your life more exciting and interesting. For me, setting the goal to climb Mt. Whitney was the distraction I needed to get my focus off my H and onto me - what would do it for you? What dreams could you pursue right now? How could you spread your wings?
while h was gone I started a book club that meets monthly, I've recently started a moms night out club, I've joined a dinner club, I've painted rooms and/or furniture, I became a volunteer with the towns ambulance company, took an emt course, have monthly training sessions with the company etc.
yes these are things that keep me busy and give me something to look forward to...so bit of a life outside of home.
what I really want for me isn't in the cards just yet for financial and well due to the fact that my kids are young and I'm home with them.
I want to get a masters degree in counselling (and of course I wouldn't be so blunt) the masters degree can come later...since the kids are young and I'd like to be around for them I'd like to start out in some capasity within a school system thus giving me summers,holidays,vacations etc to be around for the kids...eventually when the kids are older I'd like to work with either a private or group practice dealing with families or couples.
As for the in-laws - you know, you don't have to love them, just be polite. Pretend they are casual acquaintances you met at a cocktail party, and let their comments roll off your back (and don't be crazy enough to go shopping with MIL again - yuck! ). yes yuck! I try the "letting it roll of your back" way but eventually my blood boils...I can only brush off so many comments.
And Thanksgiving? Just tell H next year is your turn with your family, then be gracious about the whole thing. Really, you are loading it with all kinds of other anger and resentment that don't belong there. I'm trying not to let my thoughts be colored with other things but that aint easy.
Maybe he needs some help with this.
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