relevant to anything or not....here are some examples of whta h came from....
when marrying h mil stated that she'd like to buy me a new set of underwear (as if I wasn't capable fo buying my own underwear at 24)
while out at a mall before marrying h it was suggested to me by mil that I should get myself a "nice blazer" as if I should suddenly change my manner of dress simply because I was getting married
grand mil is of the thinking that a womans job is to take care of her home, man and raise children (no wonder her daughter that didn't have children has issues)
an example of the controling manner of mil?
h can't even fart in his own house without comment from mil
just recently while out shopping in a department store I left her to go look in the bra department as after spending some time in the fitting rooms I decided it was time for some new ones.
well...mil not only felt compelled to show me the granny bras that she wears and suggest I try them (I'm talking 4 hooks for a 36 back) but also insisted I model my choosings and when I didn't like a particular bra she had to adjust it and decide just why not?
for christ sake I'm almost 32 years old and my own mother wouldn't expect me to model my bra's for her..she'd trust me enough to choose something that was comfortable and did the job I was expecting it to do.
this woman actually aruged with me over a bra I had tried on..I didn't like it...it was constricting and uncomfortable and likely to find a back position in my bra drawer...
how am I to deal with this?
can't talk to h...he has accepted her "that's just the way she is" anyone else I talk to only re-enforces the for me that she's nuts. I'm talking this is a woman who was not asked to be at the birth of my first child and had to be kicked out of the room once I started pushin him out...and yet didn't actually leave only stood peeking over the other side of the curtain.
I don't know why I'm now talking about my mil when she doens't have a whole lot to do with my m unless of course we use the ole "mothers to blame for everything" and imply that h is the way he is (his role is to provide financially for his family and nothing more) is a direct result of his upbringing.
if anyone hasn't guessed it by now...some of the added stress lately is a result of the fact that instead of taking an hour drive to be with my family for thanksgiving at which will be present several children whom my kids adore and who adore my kids not to mention numerous anunts and uncles that could just eat them up...we will be driving two hours the night before to sleep over at his families where there are no other children and where all the adults seem to want to do nothig more than find there own tv and watch what they want to watch. Not that they don't adore the children as much as my family...but it seems to be more of a for 5 min or in 5 min..then let me get back to my football. since it is an over night and then all day event I am not to keen on going. My children being the only on his side are very judged and it often makes for much tension...tension h doesn't notice much because when he's not off watching football he's placing unreasonalbe expectations on a 5 and 3 year old to act like miniature adults as his family does. I don't want to go there...the 5 year old having heard nothing from me doesn't want to go there (his words...it's too far..and I assume he'd rather be with his cousins having fun than answering a bunch of questions from aunts and uncles) I understand this is all part of being married and having children but when can it actually become what's in the best interst of the children and the family? sure we spend time with his family...fil lives with us..mil just spent the weekend with us...mil took dd and s to her mothers while I was at a class and if I'm not mistaken saw sil and poss bil and other sil as well.
it's not that I don't like his family I do...it's just that they don't have any children and/or have forgotten what it is like to have young children. It will not be relaxing or enjoyable for me and therefore not relaxing or enjoyable for the children or anyone else around. We will go because it is apparently what h has his heart set on...I don't have a good feeling about it and I'd obviously for a lot of reasons rather not go. we seem to work better when we are alone (like me, h and kids) rather than the added mothers expressing their opionion of things.
I should also note that h doesn't stick up for me and my thoughts when with his family...he just goes into drone mode and sounds like he's reciting what is expected of him.
