We've been at this a while, doing our best to DB and make positive changes. Like I shared on my thread, time isn't what makes it easier, effort over time is. Specifically, goal oriented effort.
When I made the effort today to review my original goals I thought would show my actions were having an affect, I realized that almost 90% of them were being met! So why was I still so miserable? Why was I no longer as dedicated to having a new - happy M as I was at first?
I hadn't acknowledged that I was getting what I wanted, and I hadn't established new goals to keep the progress going.
In your case:
Quote: I would like: one night a week set asside for us to spend some qt together... I would like more physical intimacy
So my question to you is, although taking the family out isn't exactly quality time alone, is it a step in the right direction for H? You want him to spend time with you, but you are resentful when he leaves a voicemail suggesting the family spend time together!?!
Take Credit for the little things! and IMHO is time you re-examine your goals, and pick the right time to ask again for what you want.
From a man's point of view, we don't screw-up and buy flowers. We buy flowers and then screw-up, buy flowers and then screw-up.... We need action oriented, specific requests. If you tell me you want to spend the evening playing cards, darts, or whatever - okay, whatever. You get whatever you ask for, pun intended.
Finally, it may be in your previous posts, but revisiting it now was helpful for me, What have you determined are H's Love Languages and what are you doing to make HIM feel loved?
