Quote: May I point something out? You start off by saying you don't love him...but then you go on to only talk about how he behaves around you...is your real concern that he isn't happy with you?
coming back to this....
I don't think the concern is that h isn't happy with me. I don't think that was ever a concern at all...it was never about his feelings for me it was always and continues to be about my feelings toward him.
As I've said many times before h is a very traditional man...the breadwinner role is the role he learned and fills well...
I fill the domestic caretaker role and that pleases him...
BUT
this isn't 1950 and my name isn't Donna (read for those who don't get it)
There is more to love and life than paying the bills and cleaning the floor...I always knew that and though h expressed a similar knowledge it was always a matter of "first things first" in other words our financial security took presidence over our emotional security with eachother.
H did express a new found appreciation for the other areas of life (not soley filling the breadwinner role but more being an active participant in life as a couple) upon ariving home but seems to have fallen back into the "first things first" way of life again.
I suppose it is not that I'm "not in Love" with my h as much as it is we are not in love with eachother anymore. His lack of "in love" feelings a result of my frustration over not having my basic relationship needs met and my lack of "in love" feelings due to his not meeting my basic relationship needs.
am I making any sense?
I do love my h and know that I am capable of feeling "in love" with him...just wish it occured with more regularity.
It's simply a matter of spending some qt together that doesn't involve tv or may involve tv but includes some conversation and getting out of the rutt of day to day life together once in a while...for some reason our 4 days away together didn't do that.
I've asked for over two years for regular time together and was even willing to opt out of a date night out for a weekly card game at home but even that doens't seem doable for h.
I don't know if things will ever change and as always my fear is that I will eventually lose any desire to hold onto any feelings I do have for him.
