thanks for the reply...been thinking of you also..actually just thought of you and your daily list of meeting h's LL's as I scrubbed out the kitchen refridgerator..I wont get any points in the aos category for that as it's "my job" as was the dinner I cooked last night and every other night..as is the laundry I do etc. but I digress...Hope you had a hoppin' celebration with h after our boys won the world series for us!! I'm still in shock!
Quote: Hey LL,
Have been thinking about you a lot the last few! Glad you posted but sorry to read the nature of your post...
Can you remember a time when it didn't feel this way to you? honestly? no...I'm sure there may have been a time but it was so long ago (even before marraige) that I don't remember. when h was more "sparky" when you guys were together? as I said...way way back when but even then it was regimented...according to his availability.
May I point something out? You start off by saying you don't love him...but then you go on to only talk about how he behaves around you...is your real concern that he isn't happy with you? Not trying to be a jerk...and clearly how you feel when he's around you is key...just thought it was interesting. You are not a jerk Sage...I think by now we are all very familiar with the love bank concept...let's just say h's has been full all along while mine has been over drawn. At this point the things h would possibly do to add to my bank wouldn't do much more than attempt to pay of the interest acrued...not saying that to be vindictive or snappy just saying that it's been so long since I've actually felt of any real value in h's life (other than as his domestic partner..taking care of the house, kids, etc) that I no longer feel he has much value in mine. I no longer have any desire to talk to him about anything or share any of me with him. I'm drained...it's certainly not what I want but I don't see myself here other than for the children..will I stay after they are grown? if I didn't have the experience of being an adult child of divorce that would be an easy question to answer. I just don't know anymore.
