One day I was having a very absurd thought that maybe we should just move in with ow, then she can take care of the kids sometimes so I can go out with H and when I don't feel like cooking, maybe she can do it. When she wants to go out, I can take care of the kids and maybe she and I could even go out sometimes and leave H with all 5 kids. Wouldn't that be just dandy? Maybe that's how polygamy started, eh?

I know that I'm being foolish, but the life they have is so unreal, what I'm doing everyday, the unglamorous life of a "mom", that's the real deal, ya know. Getting the kids up and off to school, meals on the table, bedtime, baths, etc. I've even thought of cancelling the cable TV, just to get him away from it.

I don't know what the answer is. H was gone for about a month, home for almost a week and is now gone again. He doesn't know what he wants, but I do know that it is almost easier with him gone. Not that I don't want him back, but with out him here, we eat when we're hungry, I don't get frustrated expecting him to do something, I just do it myself, which reminds me, I've got to mow the lawn. Take it easy, love to you all, Me

Each experience in life has formed me, become part of me, made me stronger.