LL, that is exactly how i felt before h dropped the bomb. i had even suggested to him many times that i leave with the kids and move in with my sis so that i could get help with kids. all i did was cook and clean and take care of kids. then h dropped the bomb, and i got real scared, i thought, how will i make it with 4 kids alone?? well the truth was that things are not much different with h gone. i actually have less to worry about. and me and h talk more now then ever before. i am scared of him coming back and me going back to the same life.
but i was just like you with the job too. i didnt want to deal with day care and that whole mess. but once he left i did get a job, and i love it sooo much. i feel complete when i come home from a day of work. it is very nice cashing my own checks too.
i know now that h cant make me happy. he can only make me happier, but i am in control of my happiness. if he came back and things went back to the way they were, i would say exactly what you are saying, what is the point???
but h came around once. and you know that feelings come and go. i wish i knew a way to smack him and wake him up, but i am clueless myself. well there is one way if you can do it. but it may be making yourself very vulnerable, so you may not want to do it, but could you get him to read ALL of your threads here?
your threads are so powerful and inspire hope to so many ppl (myself included!) unless he is dead, he will be moved by all you have gone through and dealt with for him. he will see what a powerful woman he is letting slip through his fingers with out a fight. anyway i do pray that something soon turns things around for you because you are a survivor and now you deserve the fruits of your labor.
