Does it have to be an either/or scenario? he there Sage, Of course it doesn't have to be an either or scenario it just seems that more often than not it is.
here's what happened for me: h drops bomb/having EA same here
I want M, he doesnt same here
I find DB same here
I adopt the DB practices that seem to stop pushing him away same here
I take a good hard look at ME and see some things I'm not happy/proud of same here
I decide to work on those things to improve ME so even if my M doesn't get "saved" I will feel good about looking myself in the mirror same here
Changes I make in myself lead to very positive changes in h, M for a short time same here
etc.
Was I bending over backwards to save my M? No, the issues in your m simply forced you to look at yourself in the mirror Or was I bending over backwards to improve myself/my life? I think the answer to that is obvious but there is a fine line. I wasn't speaking of You or anyone LIKE you I was speaking of those that question every single thing they do and say interms of what their h or w (who mind you has moved out and is blatantly involved with op to the point of allowing their children to share time with them) that will win them over. There comes a point when a little self respect is needed and the lbs shouldn't concern themselves with what the reaction the lying cheating was will have with them and just do what makes them happy.
I think it was the latter and the former was the added bonus. and I think you are right in your case
I know your feelings aren't "new" but they seem more pronounced today -- did something happen or has it been building up? Wasn't speaking so much about my own sit as much as how it just sickens me that people have such little self worth and will do anything to "win back" a person who doesn't deserve them. I see it all over this site and it's sad. The really sad thing is, if half of them just stopped worrying about the was and just started focusing on improving their own quality of life their was may just get their head out of their a.. and think twice about what they're doing.
