just sifting

[sage]

what baffles me most about the majority of posters on this site is how they become so willing to bend over backwards trying to win back someone who is or has been treating them like a third rate person when they instead should be bending over backwards to make their life better for the most important person...themselves!

Hi LL,

Does it have to be an either/or scenario?

here's what happened for me:
h drops bomb/having EA

I want M, he doesnt

I find DB

I adopt the DB practices that seem to stop pushing him away

I take a good hard look at ME and see some things I'm not happy/proud of

I decide to work on those things to improve ME so even if my M doesn't get "saved" I will feel good about looking myself in the mirror

Changes I make in myself lead to very positive changes in h, M

etc.

Was I bending over backwards to save my M? Or was I bending over backwards to improve myself/my life?

I think it was the latter and the former was the added bonus.

I know your feelings aren't "new" but they seem more pronounced today -- did something happen or has it been building up?

Sage