Quote: Sometimes you just don't want to be very active on the boards because you are so drained and I'm getting that feeing that you are at that point. sometimes I just don't feel like being active on the boards because the advice I'd give is likely too real for most to deal with. they want a plan of action to win back some turd who's running around with a looser and taking their life away instead of a plan of action to get their own life. It takes lots of energy to try to work with what you have and still get no resolution from your efforts. In the end it will be my h who gets nothing...I will have a life..may not have the best marriage but hey that's not for everyone now is it.
I doubt if you will ever get your questions answered like I know that I will never get mine answered. My hope is that one day I just wont care to ask them anymore. That's not what we want, but that is the reality of our lives. I was once told "reality is what you make it" well that's fine and dandy and I make make MY reality what I want but that doesn't seem to apply to marriages...it is what it is and well perhaps it will at some point be consistant..who knows.
Having a realtionship can be a stress on anyone's life. He knows, or should know by now that you are not happy with the bits and pieces that he gives to the kids and to you, that you would really like him to be more involved. he certainly does know...however as I've said many times over he comes from different stock...a stock that to this day still believes a mans place is paying the bills and then resting up watching sports and a womans place is in the home cooking and cleaning and caring for the children..can't change a person now can I?
Sounds like he is really married to his business and that is a hard mistress to detach from. It's hard to fight that mistress, I know. deciding to not fight it...instead I will live my life and he will miss out.
With lots of guys, as long as there is a paycheck brought home and some small amounts of affection here and there, that's all that they are capable of giving, but is that what you bargained for when you said "I do?" I think the answer is a clear NO! strange thing is though I was trying to accept that he was just one of those guys...he can't be though becuase then there wouldn't have been ow would there? I could consider my STBX's mistress to be his work, but I rarely got any affection from him, just the paycheck dumped into the joint account and he expected that to be enough. I know that you need more, too. what to do?
I hope that your weekend is better. Weather here is supposed to be just lovely and that will help with the painting. Hopefully I'll move in a couple of weeks. hope you find what it is your looking for.
