For a long time I have felt that my M was just for show or convenience. To cover up his a-sexuality, maybe? To help him get ahead in his life and career at my expense?
With the STBX so un-communicative, I will never know for sure and he may never figure it out either. I was in limbo for a long time, too tired and exhausted to try working on the M anymore, too scared to try anything different as far as me moving on with my life.
You may be able to survive in that mode for quite awhile but is survival all that there is to life? I think that happiness is a better option, so I'm taking a chance for happiness. I know that the kids are really young and that weighs heavily on you, deciding what would be best for them, too. Many lives are affected and options must be evaluated.
No one wins, but why is it always us that has to lose all of the time? I got tired of losing my soul to a black hole of depression and being ignored by my H. I wish you well.
