Quote: Hey there LL ... sorry I havn't come around more often, but I've basically have run out of new suggestions. no need to apologize, I know you've got a lot on your plate right now... One thing tho I found out recently is that sometimes in order to shake things up to trigger a different direction, we have to forgo our analyzing whether is will work to draw them closer or not and just take a chance. I'm just taking a chance at living my life for me and letting the rest just fall where it may.. Like a football play ... not matter how much you scratch it out on a chalkboard, it comes down to calling it at the right time and executing it to find out if it can be a big yardage maker. So with that thought, I'm not suggesting anything new, but pointing out areas where it might be worth just going for it and hope for the best...
Quote: grrr here too! I try not to go down that road but can't help but wonder what could compell h to talk to her every day on the phone or at some points visit her 3x a week for "lunch" and I can't even get one measily night a week out of him. but I digress...
Have you ever mentioned to him point blank, "What frustrates me the most about our M is how you have demonstrated if someone matter enough to you ... you can find time to spend 3x a week with them and yet having you spending that kind of time with me is what matters to me the most and you can't seem to find it within you to make that time for me. It hurting me like hell and its getting unbearable." I have several times and each time am met with a cold response of "that wasn't real" or "that was then" or "can't you just get over it" or some other crap that just screams to me that je doesn't get it! heck I've even gone so far as to point out why she (ow who was married) so easily got involved with him and that I could do the same.
Quote: I think he's pretty confident by now that I'm not going anywhere...I mean after all these years why should he suddenly take an active role in the r?
Combine the above statement, with taking off with the kids unannouced even for a weekend, may be enough to shake his confidence. I'd love to just take off but alas h holds the most of the money and I don't think it would fair to well in my favour to just skip off..would only foster anger..
So there you have it ... nothing new ... you know that I have always felt that you are going to have to come up with a way to stir the pot ... shake the ground he stands on ... to make him face himself in a mirror ... for him to face he's gonna have to make some changes in order for make the M become gratifying for the both of you if he wants to stay M to you.
You've been mulling this over in your head as to what will or will not work for quite sometime now. At some point, I beleive, you're just going to have to say ... to hell with it and just "Do It!" and rock his world. I'm thinking perhaps the best way to do just that is to pretend that he doesn't exhist...or at least only speak when spoken to...guess it'll be pretty damn quiet around here...
OK, I'll get off the soapbox again ... for now ... stay on your soapbox all you want..I appreciate it.
